comm ch 9
Terms
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- social relationship
- your relationship with co-workers, other students, cashiers at shores and people who live near you.
- personal relationship
- unique commitments between irreplacceable individuals who are influenced by rules, relational dialects, and surrounding contexts.
- passion
- involves intensely positive feelings and desires for another person. Despite its excitment, passion isnt the primary building block of enduring relationships. Passion is a feeling based on the rewards of involvement with a person.
- Commitment
- is a decision to remain in a relationship. The hallmark of commitment is the intention to share the future. Because a commited relationship assumes a future, partners are unlikley to bail out if the going gets rough. commitment is a decision to stay together in spite of trouble,disappointments, sporadic bordom, restlessness and lulls in passion. Commitment grows out of investments
- Investments
- that which we put into relationships that we could not retrive in the relationship were to end. We invest time, energy, thoughts, and feelings. For good or ill, investments bind us to relationships.
- relationship rules
- guide how partners communicate and interpert each others communication. Relationship rules define what is expected, what is not allowed, and when and how to do various things. Typically, relationship rules are unspoken understandings between partners.
- relational dialects
- a final feature of personal relationships, it is the opposing and continual tensions that are normal in personal relationships.
- four ways intimates deal with dialectical tensions
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1. neutralization
2. seperation
3. segmentation
4. reframing - neutralization
- negotiates a balance between dialectical needs. It involves stricking a compramize in which both needs are met to an extent but neither is fully satisfied. ie. a couple might agree to be somewhat open but not intensely so.
- seperation
- favors ones need in a dialect and ignores the other. ie. asking paige how phil is, not if they've had sex
- segmentation
- when partners assign each need to certain spheres, issues, activitys or times.
- reframing
- a complex strategy that redefines apparently contradictory needs as not really in opposition.
- the 6 phazes of friendship
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1. role-limited interaction
2. friendly relations
3. moving tord friendship
4. nascent friendship
5. stabilized friendship
6. waning friendship - individuals
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when we are aware of our selfs as such, with particular needs, goals, experiences, and qualitys that affect what we look for in others and relationships.
*** first stage of relationship*** - invitational communication
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in which both people express intrest in interacting. Tis stage involves both making invatations to others and responding to invitations they make to us.
*** second stage of relationship*** - explorational communication
- is a stage in which we explore the possibilitys for a relationship. We communicate to announce out identities and to learn about others.
- Intensifying communication
- increases the depth of a relationship by increasing the amount and intimacy of interaction. IE. EUPHORIA
- Relationship evolution process
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1. escalation
2. navagation
3. deterioration - revising communications
- although not part of escalation in all romantic relationships, occurs often enough to merit our consideration. Durring this stage partners come down out of the clouds to talk about their relationships strengths, problems and potential for the future.
- relational culture
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the nucleus of intimacy.
a private world of rules, understandings, meanings and patterns of interacting that partners create for their relationship.
Includes how a couple manages relational dialectics -
Relationship deteration:
INTRAPSYCHIC PROCESS - launches relational deteration. Durring this one or both partners reflectand sometimes brood about dissatisfaction with the relationship.
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Relationship deteration:
DYADIC PROCESS - 2nd step in relationship deteration. involves the breakdown of established patterns, understandings, and rules that have been part of the relationship.
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Relationship deteration:
SOCIAL SUPPORT PROCESSES -
CAUSED BY: when partners lack commitment or the communication skills they need to restore intimacy
DEFINE: involves telling others about problems in the relationship and seeking support from others -
Relationship deteration:
GRAVE DRESSING PROCESS -
CAUSED BY: when partners decide they will deffinatly part ways.
DEFINE: partners decide how to explane there problems to friends, co-workers, children, in-laws and social acquantaces -
Relationship deteration:
RESURRECTION PROCESSES -
The final part of relationship deteration.
DEFINE: involves each ex-partners moving ahead to a future without the former partner - psychological responsibility
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- assumed by women
- involves remembering, planning, and coordinatating domestic activitys -
Cycle of abuse
four stages -
1. Tension
2. explosion
3. remorse
4. honeymoon